The Great Chase
by Stormninja82
Summary: Samus steals something of Ridley's... and boy is he PISSED. Also pls don't swear in the comments, my parents monitor my internet and my dad will beat me if he sees any inappropriate language!
1. Chapter 1

One day Samus received a call from Bernie Sanders. "Samus, we have another mission for you. This one may be a little different from your last ones..."

"Lay it on me," Samus said.

"We've recently discovered that Ridley's foreskin may hold the cure to cancer. You need to go to his cave and retrieve it."

So Samus went to Ridley's cave on Dagobah. Ridley jumped on her as soon as she entered.

"Samus! I'm gonna kill you!"

"Wait!" Samus said. "I come... in peace." She proceeded to take off her shirt and bra. "Come get me big guy."

Ridley's penis grew to a tremendous size. He plunged it into her vaginal cavity without a moment of hesitation, and their tongues intertwined. It was pretty darn attractive. After a considerable shared orgasm, they fell asleep.

When Ridley woke up, his foreskin was gone! "That bitch Samus fucking circumcised me! I'm gonna kill her!" He saw her ship flying away. He flew after it.

When Samus got back to base, she quickly ran to Bernie's office, Ridley hot on her tail. But when she entered, Bernie was not alone. Mike Pence, Shaggy, Doctor Who, Kanye, and Dark Samus were all standing around a table with Bernie, all colluding!

"Oh shit Samus you weren't supposed to see this," said Bernie.

"What is the foreskin REALLY for?!" Samus said.

"You'll never know!" said Mike Pence, who shot at her with a gun. She dodged but Doctor Who stole Ridley's foreskin while she wasn't looking!

"Now we can sell this to Russia and make millions!" said Shaggy.

Then Samus pulled out a bomb and blew them all up! Then she gave Ridley his foreskin back and they fucked. But little did she know... Shaggy was not dead!

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

Two Years Later

Samus and Ridley were married and lived in a duplex in the suburbs. A master surgeon, Dr. Mario, had reattatched Ridley's foreskin, and he was happily uncircumcized. But one day, during a storm, things were about to go downhill.

Samus and Ridley were sitting on the couch watching vine compilations when the doorbell rang. Samus went to get it, but when she opened the door... it was Shaggy!

"Aha!" he said. "I survived, Samus! And I've got a new gang to finish what me and Bernie and the boys started two years ago!" He had 21 Savage, Lord Farquad, and Master Chief's brother with him!

"Ridley run!" Samus screamed.

21 Savage leapt onto her and held her down while Lord Farquad and Master Chief's brother chased Ridley out of the house.

"Oh and don't even think about reattachment this time..." Shaggy said, and he then held up Dr. Mario's head on a pike!

On cue, Samus broke free and snapped 21 Savage's neck. "Here's your fucking visa," she said. Then she bolted after Ridley and the others, but Shaggy sped towards her and got her into a rear choke hold. Samus threw Shaggy over her sholder and stunned him with a tazer, and then ran out of the house after Ridley. She found him strapped into a circumcision machine!

"It's too late now, Samus!" said Master Chief's brother. He pressed the switch to turn on the machine. Samus ran towards them but Lord Farquad held her off with furious fighting moves. There was only one thing to do now. Samus shot Master Chief's brother's penis perfectly so that it flew off and hit the switch to turn off the machine. Then Ridley broke free and ate Lord Farquad's head. Shaggy showed up, pissed as fuck!

"Shaggy, it's time for Plan B."

"Right," Shaggy said, and ran towards Master Chief's brother. Before Samus and Ridley could stop them, they fused together in a burst of light. They had turned into... Mecha Giannis! Ridley hit Mecha Giannis with a powerful roundhouse kick, but it did nothing!

"Hahaha!" said Mecha Giannis. Then he whipped out a basketball and dunked on Ridley. Samus knew she only had one option left. She called up Drake, and Drake showed up and was an obnoxious fuck screaming for the Toronto Raptors. It was too much for Mecha Giannis to take, and he exploded.

"Ridley, are you OK?" Samus asked, running towards her husband.

"Yeah, I'm fine, honey." he replied.

"Let's get you home," she said.

An hour later, Drake had just finished cleaning up the parts of Mecha Giannis. Then he got a phone call. "Drake here."

"How'd the mission go?" said Sheldon from Big Bang Theory.

"Good, I convinced them we're on theie side, and I got the Mecha Giannis parts."

"Good, good. Everything is going according to plan."

To be continued.


End file.
